She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize