good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
