I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
