hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
