If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
