so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
