Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
