Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
3pm strippers are depressing
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
