your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
