so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
