Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
