it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
