You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
