Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
