he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
