I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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