Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
