if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it's not cheating when I paid for it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
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