would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
