Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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