Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
