The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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