she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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