Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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