I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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