I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize