ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize