Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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