I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
