I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize