one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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