My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
