STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
