Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
