fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
