ya dads aren't the best wingmen
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
