If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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