Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
