wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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