and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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