I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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