Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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