you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
