Someone shit on the floor
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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