What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
