turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
