So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's shark week go big or go home
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize