Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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