and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize