My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
