You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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