I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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