You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
