2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
