Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
