her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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