He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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