Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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