so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
