new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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