p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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