He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
